I could look at you in envy for all the things you have
the ease with which you cope and your luck when things get bad.
You show me I can shape my world and bring that little ease.
That when the wind is strong we might need to bend, or sway like those sturdy old trees…
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 15 – Menopause would be the biggest struggle for MM. Because our medical system is wonderful with surgery, hormone treatment and procedures for women. But it doesn’t address the biggest health issue that women face – the lack of rest and support for women at home.
Poem: A Visit With Dr. Google
We visit the doctor once a year
when we’re not feeling too good. Just to be sure all is clear.
The doctor tells us to have some tests
but we decide to try lifestyle changes and a little rest.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 9 – To know that he treated her well only because her family had money, or were able to keep up a pretense of wealth. Loved because her family gave in to demands for gifts. Loved only because she finally had a boy child after two daughters. A woman remembers these things even when she pretends they don’t matter.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 5 – And because of the glorification of the mother that was so much a part of her family culture, she would feel deep guilt and self-recrimination. She would forget that being a mother doesn’t raise one to God-like perfection and take away one’s humanity – one’s fallibility.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 1 – Amid all those women who were digging their own ditches, she now saw the beacons of light. Family, friends and neighbours who had found small ways to happiness and made space for themselves in a comfortable manner, within the boundaries of the society they lived in. And they became her role models.
Poem: A Tale of Two Families
Nothing to do, nothing to do,
my poor dear wife has nothing to do.
I come home from work and the house is so clean
and she’s sitting and reading a magazine.
The food is all cooked and our ironing is done,
she looks like her day’s been a lot of fun.
Fire Fighting Mode Chapter 2 – She’s like the bottom of the pot where the spoon scrapes when there’s not enough inside to put on our plates. Like the bottom of the barrel that bears the pressure when it’s filled to the brim. With no ease or leisure.
Fire Fighting Mode Chapter 1 – She’s got OCD – it keeps her safe, the world will end if the tendli is cut round, not straight.
Becoming Microwave Madam Chapter 5 – It would take her years to learn to be efficient at cooking, cleaning and organization, because doing this meant discarding old ideas and traditions. Fixations on they way things had to be done that come down from generation to generation in Indian families and are so much a part of customs and traditions that one needs to really be pushed against a wall to question them.
Becoming Microwave Madam Chapter 2 – You might need to remember India at the time home appliances entered the market, to understand Microwave Madam. The resistance to new which also encompasses the attitude to the new woman in a housing societies, but does not extend to her husband.
Becoming Microwave Madam Chapter 1 – She didn’t realize she’d been conditioned to think a certain way. That he too, like her, had been conditioned by social and cultural expectations, as one often just looks at them as the norm.