Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 20 –
It used to be Baby ‘cos they saw I was young
the one they looked after when her parents weren’t around.
Then, it was Didi – the elder sister
a young adult woman without a ‘Mister’.
The role of the Indian woman is defined very differently from that of the Indian man. Her career, education or income level matter very little. What seems to be important to society is her personal choices. Or those that are made for her by her family. And by the God’s.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 19 – He loved his work and his hobbies and didn’t wish to sacrifice these things. So he did something she’d been asking him to do for a long time without much success. He started to put aside his cellphone on the weekends!
Poem: Do You Ever?
Do you ever leave your house without your phone
call up somebody who lives alone
feel grateful for the friend who was there through the sad
let your maid have a day off when her back is bad?
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 18 – Male Rage is different from anger that is a part of the normal range of human behaviour because it isn’t natural, but created by a system we need to leave behind. MM had seen this rage many times in the lives of many women she knew.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 17 –
She could have made this a battle with her husband, but the truth is, a large part of the problem was her. And HER ATTITUDES. Because she too had, without conscious thought, embraced this disrespect.
Poem: My Greatest Friend in Times of Need
My greatest friend in times of need
I talk to you, say what I please.
You help me out when times get tough
you listen – never say you’ve had enough.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 16 –
Men-OH-Pause give your wives a break
don’t get up and leave them to wash up the plates.
They’re on their feet before every meal
cooking and washing and keeping the home clean.
She had always felt that society has a perceived value for money and things that far exceeds their actual utility, and their ability to create security and bring happiness.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 15 – Menopause would be the biggest struggle for MM. Because our medical system is wonderful with surgery, hormone treatment and procedures for women. But it doesn’t address the biggest health issue that women face – the lack of rest and support for women at home.
Poem: A Visit With Dr. Google
We visit the doctor once a year
when we’re not feeling too good. Just to be sure all is clear.
The doctor tells us to have some tests
but we decide to try lifestyle changes and a little rest.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 14 – These women were stuck deep in patriarchy and the power games it allowed them to play – the martyrdom and suffering that gave them bargaining power. Power games that can make sons who are poorly educated, or have less opportunity to find their way, feel small within their home.
Poem: Wake Up – A New Time Is Come
You’re the mother-in-law who couldn’t let go
who spoon-fed your son ‘cos you wanted control.
The daughter-in-law who kept her mouth shut
and they pushed you so low that you couldn’t get up.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 13 – People often think that giving to these rules is respect for the elderly. Forgetting there’s a price for it. A quicker decline for the elderly. And a frustration that affects personal relationships between the home manager and her family – especially her husband.
Poem: We Have To Pay The Piper
We have to pay the piper for all that we have got
if we don’t pay up when it’s due it’s gonna cost a lot.
He’s the one who sees the things we hide – the one who keeps the score
and when he thinks our payment’s due he’ll knock our every door.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 12 – MM realized then, that her husband had a very sub-conscious idea of love that was based on his upbringing. Where his mother had served and fetched as an expression of motherly love. These ideas went deep and created expectations that were in direct conflict with his desire to see his wife rest when she needed.
I don’t wanna be the woman behind the man
let my dreams flow down the sink as I wash the pots and pans.
I don’t wanna be the woman who’s burning up inside
and sees dirt in the smile of her sisters eyes.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 11 – Better work-flow management in the kitchen reduced the number of dishes used when cooking. And she learned two important things that many of her friends didn’t yet know, or rather, didn’t completely have the skills to implement.