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On Marital Rape and Consent

Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 23 – MM was horrified at the lack of a law on marital rape in India. Read this article by the Times of India – Why Marital Rape Exists In Homes, In Data, But Not In Law. MM had only ever experienced caring and kindness in this aspect of her marriage, but she knew women who hadn’t. Women for who the bedroom was a place to tolerate. To endure. To dread. And to fear.

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Life Second-Class – The Mother-in-Law

Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 22 – MM loved her mother-in-law (referred to later as MM’s MIL) for many reasons I’ve mentioned before in ‘Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 3 – Equality at Home | A Wonderful Woman’. A separation of living spaces goes a long way in helping mother-in-law and daughter-in-law love each other. And there’s one more important factor we often under-value, namely, the role of the Indian man.

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A Lazy Day

So long Ma, and thanks for all the fish! No cooking tonight – there’s lots of food in the fridge.

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Microwave Madam on Building-Uncle

Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 21 – Those of you who live in India will understand the term Building-Uncle even though it might be new to you. For those who don’t, in India, all elderly men are called Uncle wherever they go, and elderly women, Auntie. The Building-Uncle is my term for the uncle who lives within the same housing society or building.

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The Stages of My Life | Definitions

Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 20 –

It used to be Baby ‘cos they saw I was young
the one they looked after when her parents weren’t around.
Then, it was Didi – the elder sister
a young adult woman without a ‘Mister’.

MM’s Story:

The role of the Indian woman is defined very differently from that of the Indian man. Her career, education or income level matter very little. What seems to be important to society is her personal choices. Or those that are made for her by her family. And by the God’s.

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A Cure For Cellphone Addiction | Do You Ever?

Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 19 – He loved his work and his hobbies and didn’t wish to sacrifice these things. So he did something she’d been asking him to do for a long time without much success. He started to put aside his cellphone on the weekends!

Poem: Do You Ever?

Do you ever leave your house without your phone
call up somebody who lives alone
feel grateful for the friend who was there through the sad
let your maid have a day off when her back is bad?

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To Be A Better Wife

To be a better wife I need a husband who’s here…

The lyrics of ‘To Be A Better Wife’ are written to the music of Here There and Everywhere – a song composed and written by the Beatles. I wrote this during the lockdown of 2020.

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Healing The Gender Divide

Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 18 – Male Rage is different from anger that is a part of the normal range of human behaviour because it isn’t natural, but created by a system we need to leave behind. MM had seen this rage many times in the lives of many women she knew.

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About Me

Hi, I’m Anitaelise. I teach piano lessons and write poetry. I love walking in the sun, listening to music and playing the piano. Happiness is seeing my students in piano class. Writing in my diary. Being out in the sun. Planting in my little compost pots. And looking up recipes that I’m never going to cook. Minimalism and and organization have relaxed my housekeeping and brought much joy to daily living.

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The Relaxed Housekeeper by Anita Elise Kohli is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at sayselizaATgmail.com.

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