Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 20 –
It used to be Baby ‘cos they saw I was young
the one they looked after when her parents weren’t around.
Then, it was Didi – the elder sister
a young adult woman without a ‘Mister’.
The role of the Indian woman is defined very differently from that of the Indian man. Her career, education or income level matter very little. What seems to be important to society is her personal choices. Or those that are made for her by her family. And by the God’s.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 18 – Male Rage is different from anger that is a part of the normal range of human behaviour because it isn’t natural, but created by a system we need to leave behind. MM had seen this rage many times in the lives of many women she knew.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 17 –
She could have made this a battle with her husband, but the truth is, a large part of the problem was her. And HER ATTITUDES. Because she too had, without conscious thought, embraced this disrespect.
Poem: My Greatest Friend in Times of Need
My greatest friend in times of need
I talk to you, say what I please.
You help me out when times get tough
you listen – never say you’ve had enough.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 12 – MM realized then, that her husband had a very sub-conscious idea of love that was based on his upbringing. Where his mother had served and fetched as an expression of motherly love. These ideas went deep and created expectations that were in direct conflict with his desire to see his wife rest when she needed.
I don’t wanna be the woman behind the man
let my dreams flow down the sink as I wash the pots and pans.
I don’t wanna be the woman who’s burning up inside
and sees dirt in the smile of her sisters eyes.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 11 – Better work-flow management in the kitchen reduced the number of dishes used when cooking. And she learned two important things that many of her friends didn’t yet know, or rather, didn’t completely have the skills to implement.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 10 – It was a childhood very different from families where motherhood is about complex meals and women are stuck in the kitchen with heavy cleaning after dinner. Or those where gender roles might keep men away from they joys of hand-on parenting and childcare. Or times like the current time, when the tremendous busy, the long working hours, and long commutes eat into family time and leave children lonely.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 8 – Growing old doesn’t have to mean losing oneself. MM’s mother would realize this, and rebuild her life differently from her elders. And teach MM about self-reliance and independence in the only way that really works when parents want to teach something to their children. By being an example.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 7 – They tied MM down though she didn’t even realize it. All these rules about what women should wear – what ‘look’ their appearance should portray. Where they could go when they went out, and what time they should be back home.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 3 – Gender equality within the larger family was another story. There differences with food and a hierarchy that decided who got offered the best. She was last on the list – a woman in a family where men ranked first, as well as a woman new to the family.
Exploring Patriarchy Chapter 2 – Microwave Madam, an avid reader of old romance novels, had found her knight. A knight-in-shining-armor who had never really had any practise because he’d been rescued all his life.
Poem: Change the Woman to Change the Man
I visit my friend and she’s at the table
feeding her son who is perfectly able
to eat on his own. He’s almost a teen!
I wonder why it is that she just can’t see.