Exploring Patriarchy – Chapter 16
Men-OH-Pause give your wives a break don’t get up and leave them to wash up the plates. They’re on their feet before every meal cooking and washing and keeping the home clean. They won’t cook once daily ‘cos you want your meals fresh and I think you know that they really need some rest. Women-OH-Pause just stop and think are busy lifestyles driving your family to the brink? Long working hours and fancy vacations when you all need rest and can have a lazy low-budget stay-cation? Men do some housework. It will keep you fit And your blood sugar levels might even come down a bit. Women slow down before you get older set routines that will support you and keep family together. People make time. Slow down the pace so you have memories that will put a smile on your face.
Note: I have referred alternately to men and women but by no means mean these are gender specific topics. As we all know, these lifestyle issues can affect all humans irrespective of gender.
MM had been a home-manager who didn’t understand that roles within the family needed to extend to creating a support system for when she needed rest or care. But she was learning.
She felt drawn to minimalism and a less cluttered life. She had always felt that society has a perceived value for money and things that far exceeds their actual utility, and their ability to create security and bring happiness.
It is impossible to move to complete equality in one generation. But some flexibility in gender roles could equip men with the skills needed to bring ease, and support rest and wellness in women.
MM felt one needed to PAUSE. Evaluate ones lifestyle. Cut clutter. And explore ideas that can bring change within barriers that are comfortable for all. And that’s what she did.
I invite you to read all chapters of Exploring Patriarchy and walk with Microwave Madam as she explores the impact of patriarchy on her life and on society. And looks for solutions.
the relaxed housekeeper 
Amen! I was so lucky to have been born into a family where my parents were partners and shared many of the household chores. Then again my mother was also a full time teacher and she placed more value on having happiness than a super tidy house… I married and Sparky has learned to help out. His chores include dusting, vacuuming the stairs (because the vacuum is very heavy), taking out trash and maintenance of the lawn. He will also cook but I am not a fan of his version of most dishes!
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Thats so nice to hear! We have found our way to this after work from home. Many homes are still struggling, with women bearing the load. I think, based on conversations with friends, chores were a HUGE eye opener for many Indian men as they had never done house work beforethelockdown took away maids.
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A very neat poem and article. Very meaningful and something that really needs to be thought about. The title is so powerful. Very well written.
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Thanks so much Vignesh! It is a topic that means much to me personally as I know many women who are struggling with these issues. I am sure men are too, but I don’t know of it personally – as far as I am able to see, it is women who bear the brunt of lifestyle pressures and gender roles in families I know.
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Men always have it easy. No surprises there :O
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Its not always easy for men – there are different kinds of problems, and families. And patriarchy hits men differently, but it does hit them. That needs another post and I will have to think on it and see if Microwave Madam has enough understanding on this to have something to contribute 🙂
Whats different, based on what I see and understand, is the systemic support for men getting rest and care when sick. And for women to not rest and get care and for this martyrdom to be praised and applauded. Remove this bias, and a lot will change, I believe.
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Interesting how you find patriarchy to be affecting men 🙂 And yeah, the bias could be done with. If only it were easy.
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Yes, am trying to extend my writing to this too in my next post 🙂
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Oh 🙂
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Couldn’t agree more with this poem! Household chores are not only a woman’s job- both people should pitch in equally.
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Pooja G, achieving some level of gender equality in chores since the lockdown and work from home has given me adequate rest for the first time in 22 years of marriage.
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I’m so very glad to hear that. People think housework is easier but its really not especially because it never ends.
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YESSS!!!! 😀
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